What’s the secret to having a healthy relationship?
Typically in the beginning stages of a relationship, people are kind, loving, excited, appreciative, happy then as things progress and people become more comfortable, people start to get content and lazy and no longer proactive and enthusiastic and frankly people end up feeling entitled.
People get lazy and they don’t think they need to listen, validate, give compliments, ask questions anymore and the problem is, the quality of their relationship and their connection declines.
People start to treat others better than the people who they care about most.
Healthy relationships don’t entail two people who are always happy and tell each other they love each other every 5 minutes and who spend every moment they can in bliss together, no, life is hard and sometimes things are great, which makes it all easier to do and sometimes things are not so good and we’re not at our best and this is where issues can arise.
We need to manage our expectations of ourselves and each other.
If you’re doing everything you can to make your partner happy in every aspect and he is doing everything he can to make you happy, you’re both happy people.
Under promise and over deliver in your relationship and live by the motto: do no harm.
You shouldn’t promise or be promised something that you can’t follow through on because it will be expected and if it doesn’t happen, you’re both upset- that one of you couldn’t reach it and that one of you didn’t get it.
Healthy relationships are about empathy for someone else’s experience and respect, without these two elements, a healthy relationship can’t happen.
It’s about looking inward before you look outward, it’s about pointing the finger at yourself before someone else.
It’s looking at what you are doing, what you have contributed, what you can take ownership for.
You and your partner both need to be making the conscious choice to improve.
When you’re both respecting each other and gently and proactively sharing your thoughts, feeling and providing constructive feedback, this is at the crux of true growth and understanding.
It’s the idea that you don’t know everything, you’re open to feedback.
Don’t take your relationship for granted, it is a privilege. You are equals.
Healthy relationships are about asking yourself how you can be your best self for you personally and for the benefit of your relationship and when you’re with a great person, you actually want to be that for the other person.
Allow your partner the room to make mistakes, we all make mistakes as well as the room to experience growth.
Speaking of- growth is incredibly important in a relationship so we aren’t staying stagnant or worse, going backward.
You must invest time, energy and commitment into your relationship in order to see it grow.
Spontaneity and varying things up is incredibly important to keep the relationship exciting and fresh and away from becoming predictable and stale.
Relationships are work but it’s some of the best work you will ever have the privilege of doing.
Having a best friend and someone to walk hand in hand with during the twists and turns of life is pretty darn amazing.