Mastering self love

How you view yourself in terms of value and importance is how a potential partner will not only view you, but it also correlates directly to how they’ll treat you. Self love is the love you have for yourself. You dictate that, you control that, no one else. Life is uncertain and we only have control over so many things but how you feel about yourself- that you completely control and it needs to come from you.
Sometimes because we don’t know how or we think we can’t love ourselves fully, we look for other people, often romantic partners to do the work for us. We assume they’ll be the ones to make us feel better about ourselves. Looking to someone else for our own happiness never ends well. I’ve tried it, a lot of my clients have tried it before working with me…it doesn’t work. 

Your self esteem correlates directly with your self worth and your self worth correlates directly to what you feel you deserve. The whole concept of loving yourself, doesn’t just relate to how you feel about yourself, it’s the idea that you’ll find someone who loves you that much also. You’re willing to leave immediately no questions asked if needed. You don’t make excuses, you don’t give second or third chances, you’re out. When we don’t consider ourselves valuable, we give discounts. 
Because you love myself, you can make healthy choices for yourself and commit to someone who respects me just as much. People with low self esteem often get taken advantage of by partners who are controlling and manipulative. The more you empower yourself, the less attractive you appear to those types of people, which is another advantage to improving your self esteem.

A lot of people base their confidence on external circumstances, status or materialistic things- For example, “I have this fancy car, nice house, a powerful job” so I am confident. If you striped all those things away, do you believe that you were the asset and you could recreate it again? Most people would say no. A lot of people look to external validation for their confidence and self esteem. If you always “chase” things, fancy cars, roles or even skills— anything outside yourself—to get your confidence, you’re always seeking external things. If you derive your confidence from looks, money or accolades, you’ll have to hide behind those things to get confidence.

Inner core confidence stays with you no matter what happens to you externally. Core confidence allows you to take on a charismatic attitude around everyone. You value your own opinion of yourself more highly than the opinions of others.
You determine your own value as a person by a criteria that is your own.

You know at a CORE level that whether you’re accepted by others or not—in any particular situation—is never a threat to your overall well-being.
 You know what your best qualities are and that even when other people don’t see them or acknowledge them, you know very well that they exist. You don’t need other people to validate that for you. You know you offer real value to people and if they don’t see it, that’s their issue—not yours.
 You believe your life perspective and energy have inherent value whether other people acknowledge it or not. The most important part is… 
You Don’t Tell People ANY Of That. 
You communicate it with all your actions, your subtle behaviors, and your body language.

So how do you put all of this into practice?Don’t judge yourself for where you feel your self esteem is right now. We all have areas to improve upon when it comes to our self esteem. 

It’s really easy to tell someone else to “just be you” and to “love yourself”, we’ve all heard it before. The problem, is that no one tells us how to do it. The number one way to grow your confidence the fastest is to praise yourself… a lot. When you give yourself praise, this isn’t about telling yourself that you’re perfect because not only will you actually reject that idea, but love isn’t about perfection, or your looks, or money, or age- true love isn’t that superficial.

You’re responsible for what you think and feel. Start praising yourself more, even for the little things that maybe now feel insignificant. The first thing you do when you wake up in the morning, say “I like myself, I’m happy being me”. 

The goal is to be more aware of those voices in your head which cause you to question yourself and hold you back, so you’re able to do something about it. We want to quiet the voices in your head which have kept you feeling small, less than, not worthy. Screw that. It’s time to replace those outdated, incorrect thoughts with thoughts that will help you grow and support you to achieve whatever it is that you truly want. On the other side of those limiting beliefs, is everything you want that you don’t have now. 

Imagine what life would be like if you truly accepted and loved yourself fully. You are worthy of so much more. 

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