1. Do be open to meeting people wherever you are
People are everywhere, so are opportunities. We constantly miss great opportunities to meet and interact with high quality people. You don’t need to wait until you’re at a bar or a friends party to strike up a conversation, this is for you too ladies!
Whether you’re at the grocery store, a cafe or the mall- keep your eyes open and engage. You never know where a friendly conversation could lead. Be sure to ask a relatable open ended question when approaching.
2. Do avoid relationship limbo
I see this constantly- we’re together, we’re not together, we might be together…?? It’s a really unsettling, stressful feeling not knowing where you stand with someone.
Relationships are black and white: you’re either dating (and potentially dating others as well) or you’re exclusive.
Regardless of where you are in the dating process, you should know where you two stand. If there’s ever a time you’re confused, advocate for yourself and get the clarity you need.
If someone is playing hot and cold with you, they aren’t interested.
3. Do communicate your wants and needs
Always be up front and clear as you communicate your wants and needs. We sometimes feel like we shouldn’t always be so honest, yet the things you don’t say are the reasons relationships don’t work out.
Once he/she has a good understanding, you’ll then have a very clear sense of whether they’re capable and willing to give you what you want and need.
Notice how I said “capable” and “willing”. These are two different things. Someone may be capable but not willing. Someone may be willing but not be capable.
4. Do assume he/she is interested in you
Assume that any person you’re interested in is into you until or unless they tell you otherwise. Don’t let self-sabotage do the speaking for you.
You’re a unique, interesting, dynamic person and having the confidence to assume that other people see that too, will do wonders for you.
Just like in business we say to assume the sale before selling, assume he/she is into you before getting involved because they have no reason not to be.
5. Do go after what you want
Always go after what you want. If you see something that catches your eye, piques your interest or has you feeling some kind of way, life is short, you need to pursue it.
Sometimes we feel and even wish that things would magically happen for us but sometimes we need to give fate a little push, empower yourself and make it happen on your own. If you don’t go after what you want, you’ll live with regrets and what ifs and we don’t want that.
1. Don’t get infatuated with someone you just met
Sometimes we catch feelings quickly because we convince ourselves that someone is right for us based on rather arbitrary things- status, money, looks. We want to let the other person convince us, not the other way around.
We may be initially interested and that’s great, but to jump from interest to infatuation very quickly, without having any real indication of who this person is and isn’t is a dangerous game to play. Take your time to get to know who this person really is, there is no rush. You’re feelings should naturally build (or not), the more time you spend with someone.
2. Don’t make assumptions
Assumptions can get us into trouble. Because it’s easier than ever to meet new people and it’s common to go on a decent amount of first dates, our patience and tolerance can be extremely limited. Sometimes we cut the cord on people a little too quickly.
When we jump the gun and make a quick judgment on someone, we not only appear closed-minded but we often make mistakes.
If there’s something you want to clarify about someone, ask questions to confirm your thoughts. Sometimes we are right on the money and other times we are way off. Give people the same respect that you would want them to give to you.
Get the facts and then decide what is best for you.
3. Don’t judge yourself if you’re single
It can be very easy to get down on yourself for being single and compare yourself to other people, especially your friends and peers. Keep in mind that each of us are on a different path. Things will happen for you, it’s not a case of if but when. There are always going to be people in front of you and even more people behind you.
Celebrate your wins and motivate yourself daily to take action and go after what you want. The more you focus on improving your life and focusing on your mindset, the faster you’ll achieve them.
Also, just because someone else is in a relationship, doesn’t mean it’s happy and healthy. It’s much better to be single, then be in a toxic relationship.
4. Don’t waste your time dating people who you know aren’t right for you
We stay in relationships that we shouldn’t for a lot of reasons- a lack of worthiness, comfort, fear of failing, not wanting to be alone, fear of what other people would think or say, pressure from others, the list goes on.
Every minute you spend with someone who isn’t suitable for you are minutes taken away from someone else who could be a great fit for you. Our time is limited and we don’t get any of it back.
We want to be selective about who we spend our time with. At any point in a relationship, whether early on or years in, if something doesn’t feel right, don’t ignore the feeling, explore it. Talk with your partner about your concerns and from there decide what is best for you.
5. Don’t make decisions for anyone but yourself
A lot of us make decisions based on what we others expect of us or what we think other people want us to do, instead of doing what’s best for us. This isn’t fair or realistic.
While we want to take in the feedback of the people we love and respect, this is your life to live, we don’t have time to live it for others. Set your own standards and make decisions that feel comfortable and safe for you, you’re the only one with the answers.