Having self worth and confidence when you want to be in a relationship is imperative. We are all familiar with the saying: you must love yourself before allowing someone else to love you. While it’s overused and a bit corny (ok, a lot corny) there is so much truth to it.
Not feeling good about yourself causes you to attract an unhealthy and unfit partner/relationship; you have an unhealthy, unfit partner/relationship, which causes you to feel badly about yourself. It’s a cyclical and dangerous pattern to be in.
This lack of confidence mentality leads you to make really poor decisions for yourself accepting mistreatment, staying in toxic relationships for too long and settling for less than you deserve. In order to not fall into this trap that so many of us do, you need to practice unwavering confidence, valuing yourself fully and raising your standards.
You show someone else how you expect and deserve to be treated. Demand kindness and reciprocity because you respect yourself enough to know that you deserve nothing less.
When you stop putting power and fuel into the stories that encourages your false, limiting beliefs and start owning your awesome, your standards begin to rise dramatically. You stand in your power and you never sell yourself short.
The limiting beliefs you have believed about yourself for so long, often stem from when you’re young that someone of authority and power (coach, mentor, teacher, parent) said to you. It could have been a single sentence. You took that thought and turned it into a phrase or mantra, it sticks with you and then we let it define the rest of your lives.
Examples of negative mantras are: “I’m not good enough” “I’m not worth of love” “I’m a failure”. I want you to know, you have a choice right now.
Do you choose to let someone else dictate your life, your abilities and who you are or are you going to throw out this narrative and begin a new one that serves you and allows you to move forward?
When you believe these false, toxic thoughts, you attract what you tell your mind to believe. If your thoughts are “I’m not worthy of love” you’ll either not find love at all or you’ll attract someone who believes you’re not worthy of love either so you’ll be treated badly.
You take that mantra, write it down on a piece of paper, crumple it up and write a new mantra that is based on truth and moving you forward. Drill this new, positive mantra into your head.
You are important. You are unique. You are enough just how you are.
The words are simple but incredibly powerful. The meaning is the difference between a potentially amazing relationship or not.
Implementing and maintaining your self worth must come from you. Don’t look for someone else to define who you are and give him or her the responsibility and power to make you feel good about yourself. That is your responsibility.
Until you are able to look in the mirror and fully accept what’s looking back at you, flaws and all, with gratitude and acceptance, you will end up with someone else who mirrors your negative, unfair feelings.
Raising your standards will cause you to make better and smarter decisions for yourself.
When you have strong self worth you fundamentally believe you are deserving of receiving love. It’s easy to give love but receiving it becomes much more difficult.
When you begin to take responsibility for your life, when you stop caring what other people think, when you fill your life with what makes you happy, you naturally exude confidence. The more natural your confidence appears, the more comfortable, playful, flirty and good energy you’ll have and in turn, the more the attractive you’ll appear.
Find someone who always allows you to be you, loves you for it and encourages it. Don’t be afraid of who you are and the power you hold.