Pleasing others and going out of your way to be nice to others seems very commendable and respectable and it is but only in moderation.
You may be asking, how do I know that I’m a people pleaser?
I’m glad you asked!
You are a people pleaser if you don’t take time for yourself, you rarely say no to people, you back down from arguments or confrontation, people expect you not to express how you feel.
Being a people pleaser will never truly make you happy, you will never have your needs met. This behavior will cause you to not only burn out but it will also cause you bitterness and resentment. This is a pattern you created for yourself due to fear, a lack of self worth and craving acceptance.
You never say no to others, the thought of disappointing someone seems like a curse worse than death and you should receive an award for being the best at putting yourself last on your own list.
The problem occurs when you’re so focused on other people and desperately trying to make them like you that you don’t take the time to focus on you, your happiness or your needs in your relationships.
When you try so hard pleasing others not only is there desperation that begins to happen but the people around you will lose respect for you because you aren’t standing in your truth and you aren’t showing up as a powerful, confident person.
People pleasers often end up extremely disappointed when the other person doesn’t reciprocate and meet your same expectations. You are also at a disadvantage because you don’t share your feelings or disappointment with others. So not only will the behavior not change it also means that the anger and resentment within you increases. Your feelings and thoughts will no longer be considered as important because you aren’t sharing them with others.
People pleasers often trust people quickly, sometimes too quickly. You can end up being bulldozed by others. You are susceptible to being put in manipulative and abusive situations from your romantic life, personal life and professional life.
The best way to move forward is to create balance for yourself where you are a giving, loving person but you also do for yourself, set boundaries and expect people to treat you properly.